Blog #1

Love Leadership: A Tale of Four Missing Letters

Thursday evening October 18^th was the much-anticipated book launch, held at the McNally Robinson Book Store in downtown Saskatoon. I think we shocked the McNally bookstore management that night. Business book launches typically do not draw large crowds. A few weeks before the launch, the store kindly and gently suggested we move the reading from the restaurant, which holds 125 people, to one of their back alcoves, which holds about 25-40 people. However, thankfully, they honored my request that we stay where we had planned. The launch drew over 200 people and afterwards I was told that I had outsold a well-known Canadian author who, in his book launch, had spoken before 500 people.

The book launch was one of the greatest thrills of my life. Family, friends and clients humbled me by their support and love. Two great friends of mine, Darrell and Roy, provided a wonderful musical backdrop to the reading.

Before the launch, I had an opportunity to talk to two groups, as well as to several individuals about the book. These pre-launch talks were fascinating and revealing experiences.

The first was a meeting with one of my favorite clients, who happens to be a great leader. While I was meeting with him, I passed him an invitation to my book launch. On the invitation was the title of my book, "Love Leadership." He was excited until he read the title. Then there was this pregnant pause. He was clearly embarrassed and did not want to even look at me. I could see how uncomfortable he felt. My sense was he was uncomfortable with the word love in the title and that I was somehow surprising him. He may have even thought I was "coming out of the closet" with some sexual secret or religious belief. So I looked him in the eye and said, "This book is not about sex and it is not about religion." He looked relieved, but puzzled. What then could it be about?

In order to clarify, I asked him if he had ever worked with a group of people or team he liked. "Of course, " he responded. Next I asked him if he had ever worked with a group or team that he felt something for, something stronger than merely "liking" them - did he ever truly care about some of them? Again he responded in the affirmative. I then asked if he had ever worked with a group or team for whom he felt something stronger than "care." "Yes." I then asked him, "Okay, what was that?" He paused for a moment and then he got it. "I felt love, " he said. Voila! Another Love Leader revealed!

I had another interesting experience along the same lines. I had sent an e-mail announcement out to several clients and directed them to my website to check the book out. I got e-mail back from several of them saying that they couldn't get onto my site. After a little exploration into why, we found out that it was only when they tried to access loveleadership.com from work that they were not able to connect. It's really amazing, but even technology is uncomfortable with that word. Anything that led with the word "love" wound up filtered out as spam - a telling symptom for the business world, and the very reason I wrote this book.

I also wrote this book to help leaders understand that it's more than okay to allow love into your leadership and hopefully into your organization. These two telling examples continue to encourage me to keep on trying. I hope after you read my book you will feel the same way.

After you read Love Leadership: What the World Needs Now, please share your comments or questions about the book. I would very much like to hear what you have to say. I would also welcome your own Love Leadership stories, which I hope you will allow me to share with others who read this blog. They might also be included in my next book, which has the working title Love Leadership in Action: How Love is Changing Business and the World.

Gregg Cochlan

Blog #2

The Importance of 'Why' in Love Leadership

He who has a strong enough why can bear to live with almost any how.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

A definition of great leaders is that they have willing followers. But how do you attract willing followers?

The challenge of leadership is to first determine the clear what - what you want to accomplish. Secondly, the imperative is to develop a clear compelling why-why people would want to put effort or support into helping you accomplish your goals. Unfortunately some leaders think the best why is an "or else"

In my community we just completed a provincial election. What is amazing in the political world is much the strategy of motivating voters relies on fear. The wolf in sheep's clothing is a tagline used by one of the political parties. Please understand I am making this commentary not to trash one party or the other, but rather to demonstrate how some leaders seek to motivate through the use of fear-based tactics.

I had an opportunity for a conversation with one of the candidates in this election. He asked me what I thought of their 'wolf' campaign. I told him honestly that I did not like it. I said that in my opinion many voters are waiting - fruitlessly at present - for a leader who can provide a clear picture of what they intend to accomplish, not one who tries to convince by fear in order to get me to vote against the other party. As it turn out the political party that used hope not fear won.

Not to get into international conflict with our good neighbor in the U.S., but it has always been my observation that the U.S. has a fear-based culture and the current president is unfortunately exceptionally adept at creating and sustaining that fear. Two of his public statements still ring in my ears: "You are either with us or against us" and "The axis of evil."

Tragically, I think many leaders default to fear as their motivators. It is true in many areas, not only in politics. But, that being said, in the political arena fear-based politics sure shows up in big bold letters and a 64-point fonts size, because it adversely affects each and every one of us as well as our children and children's children. This kind of scare tactic is the polar opposite of Love Leadership, which is why it is exactly what the world needs now.

Blog # 3

Hugs and I Love You's Are NOT Love Leadership

When I spoke to the folks at my book launch the thing that appeared to surprise most people was how acceptable it is to say I love you. It was kind of funny that a lot of people who had seldom if ever said, "I love you" to me were saying it that night. Even my Dad, who had never said I love you to me, walked into to my house after the launch and said, " Hey Gregg, I love you".

This was wonderful. But it got me thinking: "Have I created a monster?" It was wonderful to hear "I love you" from people, and it was wonderful to receive all the hugs I got that night. But what is really important for me to make clear - and I do clarify this in the book - is that Love leadership is not about always using the words themvels, nor about hugging people. What is infinitely more important and to the point is that people know or feel that you love them. You do not necessarily need words or hugs to convey this. Not that it isn't nice to say sometimes.

A couple of weeks ago I spoke to a group of Fourth Year business students about leadership, and specifically about Love Leadership. The professor of this class is a very inspirational teacher who has created a wonderful learning environment for her students. I joked with her a bit and said she has largely done this by not being normal. Please forgive for this next comment but, normally universities are not structured in a way that supports this kin d of love culture. I won't go into all the details of her class, but for sure students loved being in her class and learned a lot form her in a wonderful atmosphere.

In fact, I asked these students by a show of hands if they loved being in their professor's class, They all responded with hands up. I then asked them if they thought the professor loved them. They all put up their hands. Next I asked them if they loved her and they all put up their hands. Finally I asked them had she ever publicly said this. They all answered no: nor had they told her they loved her. The point here is that if they know it or feel it they do not necessarily need to say it. My worry was that people would perhaps think all they really have to do is say it versus be it. Saying is not doing.

The interesting thing about these students: I would bet they do not have any fears associated with this class. When I went to university many of my professors scared me. I was fearful of taking exams and having to write essays. In some cases I was even fearful of asking or answering a question, afraid to appear stupid. Looking back, I think I would have gotten much more out of the classes and done better in my exams or papers if I was not afraid of making a mistake.

Love leadership creates an environment where fear is driven out, leaving room for courage and fearlessness. A very good thing, as I hope you will agree, after you read my book.

Blog #4

A Man Who Personifies Good Beyond Self

On November second of this year I attended a presentation by Stephen Lewis, a Canadian hero, whose life purpose appears to be to serve others less fortunate. Lewis, an advocate for those whose human rights are not being protected, is one of my most admired Canadian leaders. He is also, to me, a model of what I call "good beyond self" in my book, Love Leadership. Many others in Canada share my view of this exemplary man, who has shown conviction and courage by taking on an overwhelming challenge in the fight against AIDS in Africa.

In 1984 Stephen Lewis was appointed Canadian Ambassador to the United Nations From 1995 to 1999 he served as Deputy Director of UNICEF. From 2001 until 2006 he worked as United Nations Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa. In his role as Special Envoy, he drew attention to the HIV/AIDS crisis and worked to help convince leaders and the public that they too bear responsibility and must respond to this crisis. Lewish has been widely praised for his effectiveness in this role.

I attended the presentation with my mother, who is a member of a group that works in support of the Stephen Lewis' s "Grandmother for Grandmother," a foundation he set up around the world to enable grandmothers to help grandmothers. My sister Jay and my daughter Katie also attended the event. We all thought it was going to an entertainment event with a great speaker who was going to talk about something he was passionate about.

Stephen is a wonderful speaker with a great sense of humor - astonishing in a way, given the human destruction he has witnessed. The content of his stories is both tragic and disturbing. I was quickly moved and almost embarrassed that I expected entertainment. All of us were quickly stunned into silence.

Below is a quote from my book that I summarizes my feelings as I listened to Stephen Lewis speak:

If a world where Love Leadership is the ideal, you' d still have conflict. But in a loving world, when the standard rule is to solve this conflict without harming the dignity and humanity of the human being with whom you' re having this conflict, you have to find a peaceful way to solve the dispute without harming, hurting or belittling anyone. It makes so much sense to me that I' m often astonished that the choice to lead with love isn' t made more often.

Stephen Lewis talked about the incredible spread of AIDs in Africa and in a number of other counties. He went on to tell us highly disturbing stories about harm done to woman and children and the total disregard of many men in authority to protect or respect the dignity and humanity of woman. After hearing the story I must admit I was disturbed that I shared the same gender with men who did such horrible things. I was also disturbing that as human beings any of us could allow this to go on.

At this point in the presentation my thoughts went from judgment to wondering how could the human system could break down so badly that men would do this to fellow humans, and especially to women, who we are expected to protect.

Throughout the presentation I flashed on the movie "Blood Diamonds," where they portrayed a thoughtful African boy who was taken from his loving family and over time was transformed into a teenage killing machine. I could see how over a period of time it is possible to create this horrible behavior and wanton disregard of human life.

It has been three or four weeks since I heard Stephen Lewis, and his presentations still resound in my head. Thanks to him, I am now even more inspired to work to entrench Love Leadership into the world. There are two actions in my book that I hope inspire readers to in initiate: one is - encourage people to increase their capacity to love. The second is to increase our collective responsibility to respect and protect the dignity of all humans.

Sadly, in some parts of Africa what has increased is the capacity to hate and an increase in lack of respect for the dignity of humanity. It seems like there is no value placed on the individual' s life.

I do not totally understand the whole issue in Africa, and I am sure it is a complex one with no immediate, easy solutions. Nonetheless, I have come to two conclusions. I believe it is imperative that we work to change the belief that life has no value. I also believe that we need to create and support a moral imperative that encourages respect and protection of the dignity and humanity of all. Until then, everyone should lose sleep over this issue, not just Stephen Lewis.

Blog # 5

Canada, a "Peacekeeper" at War...?

As a Canadian citizen I have always been proud of the fact that we Canadians have long been known as a peaceful nation. In 1957, the year I was born, Prime Minster Pearson won the Nobel Peace Prize. As I grew up, this stuck with me, and I came to identify being Canadian with being a "keeper of peace." Prime Minster Pearson once said: "It is very important for Canadians to consider our responsibility to help build peace in our communities and world." I have always agreed that this is our role in the world.

So when Canadian troops where sent to help fight the Taliban in Afghanistan, I was, in truth, upset. I know there is some logic to the argument some make that we have an obligation to support the US and other Allied forces in their battle. But I personally felt there must or should be a different way in which we could participate.

The other day on the radio I heard a Canadian soldier who had just returned from Afghanistan. His name was Lieutenant Colonel Robert Walker. He was being interviewed on how Canadians are approaching this war. He was asked how the Canadian forces are approaching the Afghan people, given that insurgents are blended in with the general population so that hard to tell who's who. Walker responded that the only way they can do this right is to attempt to treat all Afghan people with respect and to protect their dignity. I thought "Wow, what an amazing response!"

General Bern Loeffke, a well recognized US General, once told me a story about a solder he led who was extremely religious. When they were on a specific mission were there could potentially be causalities to the opposing army, the soldier volunteered to lead the charge. It surprised General Loeffke that a religious, loving soldier would volunteer to do this. "When asked, the soldier responded with a statement that stunned and stuck with me," the General said. He replied that the least beastly person should do the beastly things."

With this in my mind I listened to the Canadian soldier's radio interview and reflected on Prime Minster Pearson. Even trough I still wish we were not in this conflict with the Taliban. I at least derive some comfort from the thought that Canadians are "the least beastly to do these beastly things."

In Love Leadership. protecting and respecting the dignity and humanity of all is what Love Leaders aspire to. It feels to me that the leadership of the Canadian do keep this uppermost in their minds and that this attitude does show up in their actions. For this I am both grateful and proud.

Blog # 6

The Triumph of Hope over Fear:

The Ascendance of Barack Obama as a Love Leader

As a Canadian I am interested in the US presidential primaries, although I have to admit that for the most part I am lost in the political rhetoric and somewhat confused by the entire process

This year an article grabbed my attention on November 2^ndin the New York Times, entitled, If Elected....Obama Envisions New Iran Approach By Michael R. Gordon And Jeff Zeleny. In this interview, Senator Barack Obama said that forging a new relationship with Iran would be part of his effort to stabilize Iraq. What grabbed me here was the idea that someone in a leadership position would consider an approach that wasn't aggressive. Sadly, my impression of US leaders in recent times is that for the most part when they are faced with a global conflict they believe that might makes right.

In the work I do of the Pacific Institute, with leaders of companies and organizations, we teach that the more you push someone the more pushback you get. So if you are trying to get something accomplished you are better to work constructively - pulling not pushing. Obama's position intrigued me because what he suggested made me feel a kind of hope I have not felt in a long time about leaders, especially politicians. I can only hope that enough people recognize the potential greatness of this young leader so that he is the one giving the next State of the Union address in the US.

In any case, I began reading everything I could about and by Barack Obama and am in the middle of The Audacity of Hope. What I see in him are qualities of the kind of person I call "a Love Leader" in my own book, Love Leadership: What the World Needs Now. To me, he clearly is a person of principle (or values, as he calls them). Also, that he is a person who prizes good beyond himself, and a person who is striving to remain authentic in a career choice that makes it very difficult to remain authentic.

These qualities, if you have read my book, are all characteristics of a Love Leader. To me, the reason so many Americans are giving him serious consideration as the Democratic presidential nominee is because, to them , he represents a different and refreshing way to provide the country with a hope based agenda for moving forward.

A few weeks ago while visiting Mexico I met a couple of Americans who asked me who I as a Canadian would I vote for, if I could vote in the US election. I explained to them that like most people it seems I found it easy to dislike George Bush, and that Barrack Obama was the candidate who best mirrored my beliefs and values. I also told them about a chapter in Obama's book where he was talking about George Bush, and surprised me. I had thought he would really slam Bush, since they are completely at odds in how they view the world. To my initial (immature) disappointment though, Obama did not slam Bush. In fact, he said several complementary things about the president, followed by comments about areas where he saw things differently.

I told my new acquaintances, that after thinking about this I was left with a great deal of respect for Obama. He made it abundantly clear that he saw things differently, by at the same time protected and respected Bush's dignity, That is also what great Love Leaders do.

As a Canadian I have no real say with regard to who becomes US president.That does not mean we don't care. And of course the direction and actions taken by the US President does have a dramatic effect on Canadian citizens and on our economy overall.

I also found it interesting that in the New Hampshire primary Senator Hillary Clinton was able to make such a dramatic comeback. In truth though, I wasn't that surprised. In my book I talk about vulnerability as being a strength rather than a weakness. What Senator Clinton did when she broke down a little the night before the vote was show people her vulnerability. Her choking response to a question about how she was holding up turned the tide for her, then and there, perhaps permanently, perhaps not. In any case, people understandably want to know who they are dealing with/ they want to know if that person, that potential leader, really cares about them. And if that leader isn't perfect and does reveal emotions, so much the better.

However, that being said, in the balance Barack Obama, to me, and for what it's worth, is the most authentic, vulnerable, courageous and inspirational candidate there is, and represents the kind of leader, okay, the kind of Love Leader, these times demand. As I said...for what it's worth. But for myself, I always choose Hope over Fear.

Gregg Cochlan